Here comes September, and I find myself curling into the brace position, breathing laboured, knuckles white.

I have found September tricky for a long time. Partly due to the anniversary of a traumatic time in my life, but also because of the change in pace. I love the leisurely stroll of summer, with time off work, holidays, trips to the beach and salad for tea. (And if we are fortunate, some sunshine!) I flourish in the slowness of it all. When summer slips into September, I feel a sense of loss, knowing that summer is gone for another year and the next one seems so far away.

Everyone seems to be on a mission in September; the diary is always full and great plans are afoot. The gear change to get from the slowness of summer to full steam ahead jolts me and this is not comfortable. Knowing that a long, cold, dark winter is on its way can fill me with gloom.

Apologies for the moaning! I have a point…

I have learnt to have a plan for this season, to minimise the risk of my mental health deteriorating and to get me through this time as cheerfully as I can. I will share my toolkit with you in the hope that it might help you too if you find yourself facing a difficult season. So here you are, my box of tricks for a tricky time:

1. Firstly, I ‘weed’ my calendar. Anything that isn’t essential to the here and now, whether a work commitment, piece of life admin or a social engagement, I postpone to a more manageable time. This slows the pace as much as possible and helps me to feel more in control. It is best, when possible, to plan well in advance and not book these things into the diary in the first place, but tricky times can take us by surprise and it isn’t always possible to predict them.

2. Next, I give myself some love. I buy myself flowers, a soothing candle to accompany me into the darker nights and something new to wear. I take good care of my body, making healthy food and walking as much as I can. However I would care for a loved one, I expend that same level of care on myself. Any exercise I enjoy, schedule it in. This releases those feel good chemicals in my mind and is such a tonic. 

3. I take a breath and assess what ‘fills my cup’, then I engage in those activities. For me this usually involves creating, whether that be crochet or cross stitch or just a doodling session. I spend time with people who make me laugh and uplift me, and close friends I can talk to about anything and everything that is going on in my life and in my head.

4. I spend some time planning adventures for later in the year. It is really helpful to have things to look forward to. It needn’t be anything fancy or expensive. For me it is as simple as scheduling a Christmas baking session with friends for December, planning a gathering for bonfire night, deciding how I want to celebrate my next birthday and where I would like to go camping next summer. 

5. Lastly, I spend some time reflecting on all the good things about this season. The beautiful colours of autumn and the healthiness of having a time of shedding and stripping back. The shininess of a conker and the astonishing promise that lives within an acorn. The cosiness of a fire and the comfort of a candle on a dark night. The fact that summer is all the sweeter when you have had a long wait for it.

So, that is my plan. 

The Night Light Café has been created so that no one needs to face a difficult time alone. If you are finding life hard, please get in touch, we would love to welcome you. We can offer an listening ear and some company, and have activities available ranging from ping pong and pool to crochet, jigsaws and bingo. Light refreshments are served, free of charge, as well as signposting to other activities and organisations. For information about the locations of the Night Light Cafés, please visit our page https://haylincolnshire.co.uk/night-light-cafes/

You can also find us on Facebook and Instagram @nightlightcafelincoln and can call us on 0300 011 1200. We are here for you.